Does that make the emotions any less relevant?
When present or past emotions arise during pregnancy there’s a tendency for the consolation to be: it’s just the hormones….
So is pregnancy depression and anxiety, etc alllll just because of hormones?!
Ok so yea sometimes the emotions are just THAT much more overwhelming during pregnancy because YES there are crazy hormonal things happening.
But DANG! We go through some real stuff in life…in relationships, marriage, hard events, parenting, etc. Things that in themselves are hard to cope with, or have taken time to find peace with, or maybe things that are an on going struggle.
So during pregnancy are we supposed to find consolation on blaming it on the hormones? Or others coping with our emotions by reminding themselves that we’re JUST BEING HORMONAL?
I find that really difficult to cope with.
Because there is no real help happening. There is no real coping. It’s just brushing real emotions aside that are screaming out for nurturing and love, some kind of REAL attention. Pregnancy depression needs more attention because then REAL consequences DO happen. Like making drastic life choices, divorce, abandoning family, hurting oneself or others, even losing our minds, as far off the edge as suicide!
WHAT DO YOU REALLY NEED?
~TIME alone
~do something you love and fulfills you
~TO be heard
~For my partner to see the clear need or request, take it for face value and help see it through.
~TO sit and have a real conversation, not cliche responses and superficial trivial coffee talk
~Seek a professional
….for some it can be financially impossible so find alternatives, read a book, online articles of others coping with what you’re going through, video testimonials,
~Vent, alone or with trusted friends, and have a real emotional release and hopefully catharsis
~Physical release,
….. massage, exercise, spa, a swim, a run, yoga, some sort of energy therapy like reiki or even aromatherapy and essential oils.
~Getting someone to help clean
~A vacation!
Advice from Dr. Laura Markham
Reading Calm Parent, Happy Kids by Dr. Laura Markham has been very helpful so far. Especially “Part One: Regulating Yourself”. The “three-minute process” is something I am being mindful to keep going back to. And also having compassion for myself through this process is key! Kick the pregnancy depression!
How to be helpful
Do you have a friend or family member going the a tough stage of pregnancy depression, or postpartum?
Sometimes it is difficult to put ourselves in their shoes, especially if you have never gone through it yourself.
If so, then just stay quiet and listen. Don’t give any advice unless specifically asked for. Give and respect their space.
Words—sometimes cliche words can be more annoying and non helpful. so refraining from- “this too shall pass”, “you will be fine”, etc. would be good!
Make sure they are seeking professional help and resources! Send them a link, offer to pay for first appointment of counseling or therapy, drive them there, and best of all NO JUDGEMENT!
Something fun a good friend of mine does that I LOVE HER FOR! She sends me or tags me in funny posts, or memes. She really lightens the mood and helps switch my mind from dark to lighthearted.
Be there for them and check on them often. Just knowing you are there can be great.
Wishing you peace, love & light!
Truly praying you overcome these dark times. If you are currently in a really dark time, I tell you this, there is hope, the light WILL shine through. Hold on to those glimmers!!! And I pray you find Hope in Faith of the Most High’s love and purpose for YOU!
*photo credits https://instagram.com/babyandchilduae
**this was written by a non professional and is a matter of experience and opinion. Please seek the help of a mental health professional that is experienced in matters of pregnancy and postpartum.